Letting go

In my last post on this blog I talked about replacing what was lost when a relationship has ended as part of the healing process. What makes divorce the most difficult of all the losses is that the partner still lives. In death you are forced to accept that you can not bring him/her back the end is final you no longer depend on their love and support. The reality of death make you surrender and you are able to  grieve fully for the loss.

I have seen people who after a divorce  fall into trap of expecting the ex -partner to continue giving them support. In order for the healing process to begin the first thing is to let go of needing the emotional support from the ex-partner. When the relationship has ended it does take time to adjust expectations from marriage partner to ex -partner  part of us is still expecting something in return. The only solution like I have said above is to let go of that need of support from an ex.

Like I mentioned above in divorce the partner is still alive dealing with them can make it hard to cut them off completely from one’s life. There was a time when I resented the fact that my ex was treating me badly and I got jealous that my ex -husband was getting love and support from someone else. The solution for me was to let go my dependence on him. While I desperately needed answers from him I made sure that I did not allow him to continue hurting me I decided and believed I was not a victim.

I consistently cultivated and maintained a healing attitude by simply avoiding about my feelings but in my own way sought to find a deeper understanding and acceptance of what had happened to me. I explored my past feelings by enriching them with the intent to find forgiveness for my ex and having faith that I will be able to trust again.

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2 thoughts on “Letting go

  1. OMG I used to think the same way when my marriage was in trouble and ended in divorce . i always thought and said aloud that had he died life wld be easier as I would not be dependent , however after I understood my dependence , especially that those were my emotions not his I totally let go and was no more dependent in anyway not even in thought . that was 18 years ago . he is totally non-existent as far as I m concerned. I so understand what u have written .

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